God is Love.

This is what I spoke at Vibrant today.

1 John 4:7-21

"If we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us."
"God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.

This past week, I’ve been thinking a lot about why I want to go to Tanzania this summer. I’ve been struggling with the right words to wrap around my desire for traveling so far from home. This struggle was also coupled with a question I was asked, “Why go when you can give all that money to people who need it?” I also struggle with the concept of short-term missions trips and how they have been abused in our Christian culture.

However, I’m aware that my struggle is primarily with my own perception of external criticism and my need to justify what I do; rather than simply trusting that going to Tanzania is right for me at this time in my life.

Let me explain. I love Portland. I love my community and what I do for a living, but sometimes I feel like I can’t breath. I walk around in fear and worry. I fill my life with tasks to complete and hollow activities. I’m easily distracted and persuaded. I’m critical of myself and others. Then I wonder why I can’t focus when I pray and read the Word; why God isn’t the first one I turn to for guidance; why I can’t speak up when my heart is moved to share God’s love.

Ten years ago, I went to Tanzania and the people taught me what it meant to BE, and how to be still and silent, rather than always DO. This lesson was incredibly profound at the time and completely against my nature, and still is. The Tanzanian people showed me an aspect of Christ that I had missed simply by being who they are.

I’m viewing this trip partially as a sort of Sabbatical or Sabbath: a break from myself and my usual responsibilities, a chance to see Christ incarnate in my African brothers and sisters, a place to rediscover Christ in me. I believe this is a reasonable expectation when I’ll be going for 6 weeks.

However, I’m burdened with thoughts that say my primary motives for going are selfish. I feel like I should go because I simply want to serve. Is it selfish for me to want to go because I want to see Christ through them? I don’t think it is. I think God is pleased that I want to experience him. He’s pleased that I have chosen to experience him through his African sons and daughters. He knows that I have much to learn and room to grow.

God also knows my heart and knows that I will serve to the very best of my ability, that I will give all that I can give, even when I feel like it is such a small gift. But is it? If I believe that God is incarnate in all of us, is the gift of myself or the gift of Christ incarnate in me a small gift? I’m learning that the gift of myself is the most valuable gift that I can offer, whether I am home or far away. Not because I am particularly special, but because Christ lives in me. Christ does not reside in money, though it is a welcome gift at times. I intend to love, and serve, and build relationships, because that is who Christ is in me.

Whether I am going because I want to experience Christ in them or I am sharing the Christ in me, God is pleased. Alternately, whether I am going because I want to experience the love in them or I am sharing the love in me, God is pleased.

In a moment, I’ll ask the communion servers to come forward. It is our custom at Vibrant for you to come to the front when you feel ready. You can tear off a piece of the bread and dip it into the cup. We have grapes here if you are stilling figuring out what it means to walk with Christ. Everyone is welcome to this table. You can eat it here or take it back to your seat to reflect. We don’t have candles for us to light just yet, but I encourage you to lift up your prayers to God during this time.

Let’s pray.
Lord, forgive us our cynicism, our anger, our fear, our worry. Forgive us for suppressing your spirit in us. Forgive us for not allowing you to utilize our hands and feet, our eyes and ears, our heart, our voice. We ask for your grace and mercy. We ask that you teach us to set ourselves aside and put you in the forefront. Let others see you and not us. We ask that you open our eyes and our heart to your presence in others.
Amen